Four on Friday: Oldies but Goodies

10 Jun

THIS is my oh-my-goodness-I-just-realized-I’m-not-gonna-be-here-on-Friday-to-write-this-so-I-better-put-on-my-thinking-cap-and-fast! post. These are videos/articles from my past that I’m reviving because I think they’re funny enough to deserve a second look. Plus, I didn’t have a blog back then, so how can I be sure that all my dear readers saw them?

1. The Onion is always amusing, but this news item was bitingly witty: Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World.

At a press conference Tuesday, the World Heritage Committee officially recognized the Gap Between Rich and Poor as the “Eighth Wonder of the World,” describing the global wealth divide as the “most colossal and enduring of mankind’s creations.”

“Of all the epic structures the human race has devised, none is more staggering or imposing than the Gap Between Rich and Poor,” committee chairman Henri Jean-Baptiste said. “It is a tremendous, millennia-old expanse that fills us with both wonder and humility.”

“And thanks to careful maintenance through the ages, this massive relic survives intact, instilling in each new generation a sense of awe,” Jean- Baptiste added.

2. AWESOME video of pets being asked to refrain from eating all the food in sight. Such a task might even be difficult for me if you surrounded me with, say, bars of Scharffen Berger dark chocolate. But the pooches (and chimp) in this video hold up admirably and oh so sweetly. (Sorry, you have to be logged onto Facebook for this to work; double sorry, the image is merely a screen shot; you need to click on this link to actually watch the video.)

3. Speaking of videos, here’s an old one of the trials of fact-checkers. I used to be a fact-checker myself, back in 2007 when I was interning for The Nation, so this really cracks me up.

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf

4. And finally, this is the best job ad EVER.

We want to add some talent to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune investigative team. Every serious candidate should have a proven track record of conceiving, reporting and writing stellar investigative pieces that provoke change. However, our ideal candidate has also cursed out an editor, had spokespeople hang up on them in anger and threatened to resign at least once because some fool wanted to screw around with their perfect lede.

We do a mix of quick hit investigative work when events call for it and mini-projects that might run for a few days. But every year we like to put together a project way too ambitious for a paper our size because we dream that one day Walt Bogdanich will have to say: “I can’t believe the Sarasota Whatever-Tribune cost me my 20th Pulitzer.” As many of you already know, those kinds of projects can be hellish, soul-sucking, doubt-inducing affairs. But if you’re the type of sicko who likes holing up in a tiny, closed  office with reporters of questionable hygiene to build databases from scratch by hand-entering thousands of pages of documents to take on powerful people and institutions that wish you were dead, all for the glorious reward of having readers pick up the paper and glance at your potential prize-winning epic as they flip their way to the Jumble… well, if that sounds like journalism Heaven, then you’re our kind of sicko.

For those unaware of Florida’s reputation, it’s arguably the best news state in the country and not just because of the great public records laws. We have all kinds of corruption, violence and scumbaggery. The 9/11 terrorists trained here. Bush read My Pet Goat here. Our elections are colossal clusterfucks. Our new governor once ran a health care company that got hit with a record fine because of rampant Medicare fraud. We have hurricanes, wildfires, tar balls, bedbugs, diseased citrus trees and an entire town overrun by giant roaches (only one of those things is made up). And we have Disney World and beaches, so bring the whole family.

Send questions, or a resume/cover letter/links to clips to my email address below. If you already have your dream job, please pass this along to someone whose skills you covet. Thanks.

This particular position has no doubt already been filled (who could resist a job wanted ad like that?) but perhaps the Sarasota Herald-Tribune has another vacancy.

5. This is the secret bonus track on this week’s album. Since I’m doing less work for this blog post than I usually do, here’s an extra one for free. Enjoy.

One Response to “Four on Friday: Oldies but Goodies”

  1. Jayshree Bajoria 13 June 2011 at 1:42 PM #

    Loved the Onion story. Particularly the Goldman Sachs CEO quote in the end. Sadly, this story will be relevant years from now.

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